dreamt of fears
standing strong
unrelational to waking except that they're here

dreamt of fears
lined up across the block
first thing, i'm not good enough to do that
second , they will take you away for what you've "done"

third, i wake up
stumble to the kitchen
smack closed the conversation
leave the door unlocked

fourth, get in the car
what was i dreaming
i don't even remember

fifth, coffee shop
thank god. it's Madonna and Meg

i eat breakfast
drink the coffee
sit down
stop and think and think more
and read and watch

and now it's the "afraid ofs" that mention themselves
on the page
first the thinking
then the machine

Could it have been more lucid?
Why won't it stop being that way
i keep dreaming in color so sharp that when i wake
it's dull

Drop your expectations at the door
What were you thinking?
Turns into...
A head shake
An eye role
Another, yet again, deep exhalation.
Born for the wilderness
Yet, caught up in this city life, coffee shop shit

I know I never really stopped to invite them in or not
It's just one of those things
That happens
And once in motion, can only be stopped by force
Unfortunately, the force was not mine

"Whatever", you say
"It makes no difference"
"Just leave your expectations at the door"
And really, I wasn't even aware that there was a door

Fuck.